We all are spiritual beings on a human journey. Although most of us have forgotten this still the Ultimate One never loses an opportunity to remind us of our true nature. One such incident happened during Deepawali 2019 which I will remember for life, wherein I could feel HIS divine presence.
Abhinav and me had gone to Umayalpuram to spend Deepawali with Pati Vishwa’s mom, his 2 brothers, their families, his sister and her family. After the function I wanted to go to Thiruvannamalai to have divine darshan and wanted to do Girivalam (circumambulation or going round the Divine mountain). Since trekking is exciting Abhinav instantly agreed. Deep inside I knew that Girivalam is just going round the mountain walking in the road which is not very exciting.
Anyway after six and a half hour drive we reached the divine place at about 9PM, we found out from the local hotel that some people go trekking up the mountain during the month of Karthikai and they light lamp on top of the hill. So we decided to go for the same early morning and went to bed quite early so as to get required amount of rest. My sisterinlaw’s husband had told a friend to take us for Girivalam since we were new to the place, he had told us to be ready by 9.30, since we wanted to climb the hill we thought we should ideally start by 5.30 in the morning and we thought we can inform him in the morning that he need not take the trouble and we will manage.
As decided we started at 5.30AM. There were huge stones which have been cut to make path for a person to climb the hill. There are two ashrams which appear as you climb the hills, Raman Maharshi meditated at both the places. While going up the hill we noticed that the main way for going was closed and will be open only during deepam festival i.e December, there we found some men working and they told us that the ashrams will also open only by 8…It was only about 6.30, we had ample of time and the vibrations of the hill were too good… we were told that there is another way in between the mountains and we started going up. I was little hesitant because I couldn’t find steps but we saw that in this path some Divine soul had made arrow marks so we easily followed them as our guide.
This was the first time I was doing trekking, at places I had to crawl like a monkey…I was moving from rocks to rocks…at some places moving like a reptile while coming back couldn’t stand and I was moving in sitting posture… looking back I just can’t believe I did this.
It was too tiring for me and at places I just dropped like a log trying to breathe, there were only the two of us and the mother nature. On one such place a sudden thought came… I want to be Shiva …actually this thought itself is so unique, we have always prayed Shiva to get our desires fulfilled whereas here I found myself praying I want to become Shiva. The answer which I clearly heard was… where there is I there is only Shava…throw this I and what remains is the ONE AND ONLYSHIVA . I sat up and from this place could see the whole city which looked so minute and small, with this scene came the vision how minute we in the body are and it is we who have created a huge ego around us and we need to work hard to reduce it to minimal.
After walking till almost the end I didn’t want to go further and found a beautiful place to meditate hence told Abhinav that I will stay there and he may see the top and return. While sitting there I clearly heard someone singing…I thought it could be Abhinav who had gone till the top, but in reality Abhinav had reached the top and there he sat for some time and repeated a verse from Rudram. He was surprised when I asked him about this singing which I heard, I now feel it may be some yogi who was also meditating and singing. Anyway while coming back we visited and meditated at both the caves i.e Virupaksha cave and the other was the place where Ramana’s mom merged with Divine… actually we meditated at all the places where we stopped…it was forced meditation…you can’t do anything other than meditate…our heart beat was clearly audible… complete flow of breath was felt…what else is meditation…one more sentence which was written in one of the caves was ‘Please shut your mobiles and mouth before entering’. …I heard the extension of this… 'your mind will automatically be shut’
One more interesting thing happened, the guy who was supposed to take us for Girivalam was trying our number but our phones were switched off. Meanwhile it started raining and the Girivalam stopped due to rain. He informed my sister in law’s husband who told everyone at home and they started panicking since they could not reach us. As soon as we got the signal we called him and he told us that since there is heavy rain he couldn’t accompany. Now both of us had just got down the hills and we had not come across even little bit of rain. Had it rained we wouldn’t have been able to climb even half way (the mountains would have been so slippery). I simply thought the man was avoiding us and so he made an excuse. In the afternoon I got a call from mom who also told that she saw in the news that its raining in Thiruvannamalai due to which the Girivalam had stopped. Now this shook me and I felt extremely grateful to the Almighty for taking care of even the minutest things in our lives. Feel so full of gratitude, thank you God for everything!!