I am writing an overview of the report of my client facing the problem of overthinking.
He is a kind ,and generous guy , introvert in nature. Good at studies from early age but was deprived of attention from parents after he had a younger sister, he was eager to study in English medium school like his sister but not able to as his parents sent him to state govt school from starting.
He qualified joint entrance but ranking was not good, so his aim was to study CS, but he was getting in NIT (last ranking ones)colleges with CS in other states, but his father send him to NIT Durgapur for its ranking among the nation level, but he was forced to take Metallurgy, which he never wanted to take.
He always thought about it that why everything is against his will, why not this for his sis who was sent to a private engineering college with EC , whereas he was eligible to even govt colleges CS. He completed his education but wanted to study more like MTech /MBA, he was not supported and was told to join the job offer and Start to pay back all the loans taken for his sister’s education.
So he did so, in the meanwhile he was in love with a girl of other caste, talked about it to parents but they started threatening him that live her otherwise he will be not having any relationship with his parents. 6 yrs he was out from the relation, but was not agreeing to marry someone else. He tried to commit suicide also at college days . But that girl managed him to come out of the situation. He was crying literally feeling that how can he betray that girl whom he loved so much. Years passed, it was the time after 6 years he got a call from the girl that she is not well and want to meet him. Then with lots of courage and against his family he left his home and married that girl, but he was continuously suffering to live his parents too, his relatives supported him in his marriage, the girl belonged to a high class family, they were good enough to accept the guy and loved him. But still he was cursed for all this by his parents, sister, he loved them too but Noone understands him, he was always thinking how to manage all this and stay together in love and peace,
In his work place If his boss tells him to something important thing to complete in a given time , he starts thinking rather working fast, he get puzzled, how to complete, how to make it work successfully?? All these question comes to his mind , and he somewhat shuts fro working productively from that, he takes long time to come out of the loop of thinking where to start and how to start??
Questions and questions comes in his mind ,he tries to get answer but he fails and the he feels like bp is fluctuating, he feels like his hands and feet becomes cold, feels thirsty, he is stuck in his job life also.
His career growth was all super before marriage but came to a hault after marriage, but he never blames his wife for it.
He is stuck in an ocean of thoughts of only negative pattern as he faced a lot in his life, his children died after birth, his wife was about to die but got saved anyway, she was a precancerous patient, still suffering,
He was lacking confidence in himself now that he can do it.
After the entire session he came to know that he himself was the reason for overthinking as it was his fault that he never spoke clearly about what he wanted to his parents, yes they to had fault for not accepting his marriage even after 10years. He was crying but trying to controll himself as by default his mind was telling that he is a male and he should be strong, he was whispering all these during weeping in the session. But I made him relax and said let it come out, you will feel better, we should not stop ourselves ,we should always keep going, breath deeply ,take another breath, float above an witness, what are you seeing? Nothing , pause for long , I gave him time to be in his own space now,
After few minutes he said , I am playing cricket with my friend , I am in school ,
Do you love to play cricket , something more came out, he had joined a cricket team in locality and arranged fees from relatives for 2 months, but when told his parents ,they denied to pay it and he couldn’t continue his cricket coaching .
I: asked would you hit a sixer now ,
C:he said yes,
I: love to play till now
I: anything more you played
C: TT , I used to play during college and in my job starting time.
I: your wife plays TT?
C : she is a pretty good TTplayer, she used to beat me in the game ,when we used to play in college days.
I: do you play now ?
A big silence after that ,
After few minutes, he said it’s my fault , that I never thought about it after marriage as sometimes I felt I have much more responsibilities now, so forgot to live my favorite time in my life.
I:what would you like to do if you are given an opportunity to live you life without thinking about responsibility?
C: I want to get up every morning at 5am and go to collect flowers as I used to do in my childhood with friends, I will play TT every evening with my wife to make her feel that I still love her , don’t ignore her, as she thinks.
I : And???
Take a long breath ,a deep breath…
C: I don’t want to stay away from my parents, they are old now, my job is long distance from them, I can’t stay with them.
I love them too, as I love my wife and son.
This continued few more minutes, then I was trying him to come to a conclusion that he wants everyone to be together, which was not possible at that moment, as he is working in some other state where his parents live. I started about asking of his career life then he got very energetic as he loved his job the most in this world, as he told that “when no one was with me ,this job was only with me, to support me”
I got this point to make him feel about the growth in his life due to this job, he felt good that he is in a good industry, even if he had not done CS, and earning much more than a CS , he agreed, and said may be I was ment for it, slowly the pain released was visible in his forehead, attain all meetings, get praised by higher management’s, right ? Then your English skills are good now ,I hope so ,as we are communicating in English from the beginning
I was fool to take all this small small situations ,so big that I forgot that I am capable of doing everything ,even when I am not an English medium passed out student. I was having a wrong concept, that English medium students are smarter than me, but no it’s not true.
I just needed to boost up his feelings with few more instances, then he felt much more confident and looked better ,now smile in his face.
I applied FUTURE LIFE PROGRESSION with him .
It’s time for him to come back from that state and open his eyes.
He said he felt relaxed and got back his confidence that he will be happy and will no thing on all this small small things as there are lot to learn in this lifetime, so if he wastes his fruitful time in all this , then he will never be able to come out of the situation, rather he should speak about it to the one he is facing problem with. His voice changed, after the session, sounding more energetic, confident, and uplifted…