Posting a case from our therapist, feel free to share your views and your approach in dealing with a case such as this.
"I have a client who has approached me for PLRT and today we had our first session. He shared his history which contained that he is in a loveless marriage as it was an arranged set up and he and his wife never fell in love with each other. They have a daughter together who is 8 years old. 7 years back he met a women and fell in love with her and from that moment has been emotionally and physically cheating on his wife. He wanted to leave his wife but circustances such as his wife father falling ill and then his own mother falling ill, he felt he never had the “right moment” to leave his wife. His wife found out 1.5 years back about his extra marital affair and hasn’t been able to process the pain which makes her keep lashing at him. She needs him to love her which despite trying multiple times he is not able to. His girlfriend broke up with him as well as she thought he was finding excuses to not leave his wife and be with her.
He came to me with this presenting problem and what he should do ahead. We worked out the pros and cons of all the different decisions and choices that he could make.
The answers to the questions however, he is really looking forward to addressing are the following-
- Am I cheating because of my past karma?
- He said he is cheating because he can’t be honest with the other person as he is not honest with himself. So comes the question -why is it difficult for me to be honest. The pain level of this he reported at an 8.
- He is not able to decide and do what is right for him as that would hurt the people around him. The question being- why am I afraid to hurt the people I love? Pain level of this is 7.
Exploring further we came down to the premise that something that hurts him every minute is that “why haven’t I able to create a life for myself where I am in a loving relationship with a partner, happy and content with a healthy home atmosphere and where his emotions matter.” The pain level reported for this is a 10.
If you could recommend, what should the final theme be and how should I address it to begin the PLRT experience, it would be of great help. "